A Pastoral Paradox: The More Abundantly I Love You, the Less I Be Loved
“And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved (2 Cor 12:15).” The Apostle Paul’s parental sentiment toward the church at Corinth is instructive. His heart expression of love for this divisive group of people is an aid and a comfort to every pastor.
The Apostle Paul had planted the church at Corinth. The city was a key trading center with a plethora of pagan temples for worship of various gods (Acts 18). The environment was challenging for evangelism, but the church also struggled with internal divisions (1 Cor 1).
Despite his prominent role in the origin of this local church, the apostle’s stock had lost value because of the congregation’s penchant for personality politics. Paul’s patriarchal spirit toward these new believers was not welcome by some. Thus, Paul had to defend his apostleship to them (1 Cor 2–4; 2 Cor 4).
In bringing correction, even rebuke to a congregation, a pastor can lose the popularity contest. In congregational governance, this can leave the pastor unemployed, even black-balled for a referral from the ones he was spent for.
Church politics is the bane of congregational life. With so much love, and so many acts of kindness and generosity occurring without pastoral oversight, it is tragic for this political reality to set in because of jealousy, envy, pride, etc.
Our adversary prowls for someone to devour (1 Pet 5:8), and the church is not off-limits. Satan spurs discord where it suits his cause. This has been true from Eden (Gen 3, 4). It was certainly true in Noah’s family, Abraham’s family, the nation of Israel, and throughout church history.
Pastors, today, live through the paradox of loving a congregation, whose love for them coincidentally wanes. A simple review of most pastors’ resumes, reveal them living in diverse locations, having served a number of congregations, with temporary tenures. Anticipating this falling out, the United Methodists pre-plan the pastor’s departure for six years after his arrival at a local church.
Other denominations simply wait until the drama brews to a boiling point, and then someone makes a move. Rare is the man of God, called by a congregation to minister, who stays for decade after decade. In most cases, this is a noble commendation, for both the pastor and the congregation. The average tenure for pastors in a local congregation, in the United States, is a meager three to four years.
The fact is that most men of God do love the Lord, whom they serve. They also grow to love the people, whose souls they are caring for year after year. Remarkable sacrifices are often overlooked, as the pastor suffers for the sake of the elect (2 Tim 2:10). His wife and children can also bear the marks of suffering, including life-long emotional scars.
Most pastors are very ordinary men. They are not the good-looking, articulate, showmen with supermodel wives, as seen on T.V. They are men who love the Bible (Ps 119:140) and who love Christ’s church (Jn 15:13; 1 Jn 3:16). Because they are filled with the Holy Spirit and constrained by the love of Christ (2 Cor 5:14), they spend themselves in prayer and the ministry of the Word (Acts 6:4).
The Apostle Paul’s opponents at Corinth focused on Paul’s weak points. Pastors have their kryptonite issues. They lack something in some category. If you do not know your pastor’s deficiencies, then ask him for the names of the people in the church, who most vigorously work against him and his labors. A brief interview with those folks, and you may be surprised that your pastor is suspected, by some, of being the Antichrist, himself.
There is a very high probability your pastor is neither superman nor the long-expected man of lawlessness (2 Thess 2). He is a man, however, who loves you and is concerned for your spiritual well-being, more than you know.
Congregations must also remember that pastors are appointed to a church by the Holy Spirit (Acts 20:28). It is the Spirit-filled congregation that recognizes their under-shepherd, who has been crafted by God for his entire life, to do the work of the ministry in their midst.
The pastor will likely be far less than everyone’s expectation. The shepherding motif is not a pretty one. It is a dirty business, in a dry and dusty land, where famine is the big issue (Amos 8:11). Men of God often sacrifice much of the world, to tend to non-performing creatures (sheep) that God chose to have mercy on and include in His flock. Not much happens in plain sight, but the good under-shepherd knows his vocation is to nurture the heart-and-mind of each saint.
Friend, your pastor loves you, if he has the Word of God burning in his bones (Jer 20:9) and opens his mouth to preach and teach. His love for God’s Word, and zeal to share the knowledge of Christ afforded him, is indicative of a lover of souls.
If your pastor feeds you and tends to you (Jn 21:15–17), then, you should do all things with your place and power, to reciprocate his loving care. Here is the representative sent to you from the Father and the Son. May the Spirit compel you to eradicate Paul’s pastoral paradox with the Corinthians, so that the pastor and congregation might be known for their love for one another.
David Norczyk
Coeur d’Alene, Idaho
November 19, 2020
